New Rules of Political Correctness
A friend just sent this to me and I thought you all would enjoy it…
Due to the climate of political correctness now pervading America, Kentuckians, Tennesseans and West Virginians will no longer be referred to as “HILLBILLIES. ”
You must now refer to them as APPALACHIAN- AMERICANS .
And furthermore
HOW TO SPEAK ABOUT WOMEN AND BE POLITICALLY CORRECT:
- She is not a “BABE” or a “CHICK” – She is a ” BREASTED AMERICAN.”
- She is not “EASY” – She is “HORIZONTALLY ACCESSIBLE.”
- She is not a “DUMB BLONDE” – She is a “LIGHT-HAIRED DETOUR OFF THE INFORMATION
- SUPERHIGHWAY. ”
- She has not “BEEN AROUND” – She is a “PREVIOUSLY- ENJOYED COMPANION.”
- She does not “NAG” you – She becomes ” VERBALLY REPETITIVE.”
- She is not a “TWO-BIT HOOKER” – She is a ” LOW COST PROVIDER.”
HOW TO SPEAK ABOUT MEN AND BE POLITICALLY CORRECT:
- He does not have a “BEER GUT” – He has developed a “LIQUID GRAIN STORAGE FACILITY.”
- He is not a “BAD DANCER” – He is ” OVERLY CAUCASIAN.”
- He does not “GET LOST ALL THE TIME” – He ” INVESTIGATES ALTERNATIVE DESTINATIONS. “
- He is not “BALDING” – He is in “FOLLICLE REGRESSION.”
- He does not act like a “TOTAL A- -” – He develops a case of RECTAL-CRANIAL INVERSION.”
- It’s not his “CRACK” you see hanging out of his pants – It’s “REAR CLEAVAGE.”